After a long search, George Lucas
has finally cast an Anakin for Star Wars Episode II: Lucas Makes Even More Money
. It's Hayden Christensen
, from Fox Family Channel's "Higher Ground". Also reportedly in the running were Ryan Phillippe
"'s Colin Hanks (yes, Tom's son) and Paul Catermole from S Club 7
. But perhaps more to the point...
It's not Leonardo DiCaprio.
For months I've been hearing that it was going to be Leo, and I dreaded it. I mean, Leo can act. That's not the issue. The issue is having to watch Star Wars amidst a mob of teenage girls who giggle and squeal every time Anakin smiles at the camera. And God forbid Anakin uses the Force to move a rock. I don't know if I could handle the simultaneous orgasm of an entire theater.
Star Wars is going to make $400 million on its own... it doesn't need Leo to pull every teenage girl in America into the theater five times a week. I don't know who this Hayden Christensen is, but I know one thing: He's not Leo.