This is a
story I just have to
relate to you all here; I found it far to
funny to keep to myself; told to me by a guy called Stuart...
He was in
Staines doing his
Christmas shopping, and hating it. Walking along head down, he catches his foot in the
pavement and sprawls headlong..."Fuck" he says, and watches the passers-by for a second or two..
When "Arrrgh!" he catches a glimpse of large
hairy shape coming for him! It sinks it's
teeth into his shoulder, near his
neck, and with a "Yaarrwwllfucker!", Stuart grabs it by the head, rolls, and with a judo like throw hurls it from him. He hears it
cry with
pain; well actually kind of a '
screaming neigh'....it's a fucking
Shetland pony...
He's flat on his back in Staines, and he's been
attacked by some women's pet Shetland pony, which he's thrown across a crowded
pavement in full view of hundreds of onlookers. The owner then starts to go at him with her
umbrella screaming full volume like a
dervish, 'cos he's actually really hurt the poor
animal...
All-in Shetland pony
wrestling in Staines, does that send the
bizarre-o-tron clean off the scale, or what?