Here's a Thanksgiving
delight you'll all enjoy.
The trick is to know exactly how to marinate the woman, exactly what herbs and spices to use. She is too delicate for thyme, tarragon. Rosemary seems appropriate, feminine, distinct but yielding enough so as not to be overpowering.
Approach this as you would a dinner for two even though you may invite more. Select wines that carry an air of intimacy. Candles are a nice touch. Don't forget that presentation is as important as the palate. Put on a record that is savage but subtle: Coltrane is nice. So is Stravinsky.
The meal begins before she even sets foot inside your house. Tell her to eat light snacks throughout the day. This is her night. This is her life as a 1950's cooking manual. She is Betty Crocker and you are deservedly nervous.
Lay out your utensils ahead of time. Tenderiser. Tongs. Peeler. Colander. Olive skewer. Rotisserie grill. Candy thermometer. Beater. Mixer. Preheating the oven is always recommended.
During your conversation, make tender allusions. Wink when you say something wry. For a successful meal, she must be fully disarmed.
Shredded cheese can stay fresh if you cover and refrigerate immediately. Make sure all your preparation is ready by the time Her Buttery Wholesomeness is ready to be sautéed. Remember: the oven is for the muffins.
When the time is just right, approach the preparation with vigor. This is your time to shine. When all is done, invite your friends over. Surely they will want to watch.