Some things to consider for new father
s living the celibate
I'd like to offer a sense of recognition, if not hope, for new young fathers who may have wondered what happened to their sex lives after the birth of their first child. Certainly their are many couples that continue to have an active sex life soon after childbirth, never had what they themselves would consider to be an active sex life, or would otherwise be able to empathize with this kind of situation. I have heard of, in my little circle of friends and acquaintances, enough people who have gone through a sudden drop in two-person sexual activity to make me believe that this it not an uncommon development in a relationship.
It should be obvious that on the very day or night of the culmination of the pregnancy, and for at least a few days and nights there after, there will not likely be an appropriate time to even consider engaging in sexaul activity of any sort. Pregnancy is a seriously traumatic thing for any involved, even in the easiest and least complicated pregnancy. So therefore I'm going to skip right ahead a few weeks after you've gotten rid of any visiting in-laws, put diapers in every room of the house, and started carrying "wipies" with you where ever you go.
One of the most obvious factors of giving birth that can squash any chance of having sex after pregnancy is whether or not the woman sustained any injuries. Women can suffer a tear below the vaginal opening which can take quite a long time to heal. If that happens, sex is going to be pretty damn painful for her. Similarly if a caesarean section is required to extract the baby from the woman's womb, you'll need to wait until that is well and healed before you think about having sex.
Now the above situations may seem to only affect sex in the classical sense of a penis being inserted in the vagina, but don't fool yourself. These injuries can definitely have an impact on other aspects of discomfort that could curtail other sexual activities for some women. For some people, not all, injurious pain is not a great turn on.
Even without injury to the physical structure of the woman’s body, there are of course other things that may disrupt the sex life. If you think of nipple play as a great source of fun and pleasure, remember that you are no longer the only one on the playing field. Not only that, it is likely that your desires for booby time may have just been significantly deprioritized. Breast-feeding makes some nipples sore. I have been told by not just a few breast-feeding woman, that it definitely has strange and mysterious effects on a woman's mood and how much physical attention some women can stand.
Keep in mind that as far as her own needs for affection, the mother of your child will now nearly constantly have a very warm and cuddly body pressed up against her all the time. Try it sometime, you'll find that holding your kid, especially when it's sleeping is a remarkably calming and enjoyable activity. This means that she may need less of the kind of cuddling that may have, by some bizarre twist of fate, developed into hardcore monkey sex in the pre-birth era of your life.
Now, if you've had this baby in your house for a couple of weeks, you may have noticed something special about the night sky. You've been seeing more and more of it lately as you stumble around your home trying to figure out what the heck your kid is crying about. Guess what, my doctor told me that babies can cry just to increase their body temperature. Sleep deprivation can take the charge out of even the most sexualized relationships.
Given that babies scream, poop, pee, and get into all sorts of trouble very early on, you too may find yourself wondering: Do I really want to have another kid after this one? The major difference is likely to be that you'll seriously start considering buying stock in latex and pharmaceutical companies that make various entities of "the pill". She, on the other hand, may be likely to think to herself: "Well, I'm never doing that again!", or at the very least "I won't be doing that again any time soon!". All the While developing a temporary aversion towards having sex with you for a while.
To be sure life changes after pregnancy. Sex changes after pregnancy. But for all of you fathers and husbands who are wondering what suddenly happened to make them suddenly so distasteful to their wives, the answer is simple: Very little. This whole pregnancy and breast-feeding thing is something that is just another part of your adult life now. Your wife still loves you, and she may even still think you're hot stuff. Be patient, and find some way to cope with the changes for the time being. I'm told things will return to normal after a while!
Soon you'll have all kinds of free time to go back to having sex in your private home away from your parents, or any roommates. Life will go back to the way it was before, I promise.