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My name is Mr. Stoops. As usual, I have prime real estate in 'monkey free' wilderness for sale, Starting in the low 600 thousands. I also have A few monkeys left in my prize collection. Act now! If you take advantage of the mind blowing offers listed below before {insert holiday} you'll get a sizzling $5 mail in rebate, just because we love you!

1. Spider Monkey (Joey or Veronica) $800 plus shipping
2. Willow Monkey (Pete) $30,000 plus shipping
3. Rare Irish Monkey (Quincy) $18,000 plus shipping
4. Used Nasa Monkey (Ipsy) $600 Shipping free!
5. Equatorial Africa "nose" monkey (Janice) $50,000 plus shipping
6. Combat Monkey (you pick name!) $36,000 Plus shipping
7. Giant poison "Tickle" Monkey (Juice) $8 Shipping free!
8. Chef Monkey, Really cooks! (Bobo) $85,025 Plus shipping
9. Sex Monkey, Non poison variety (Shirley) $67,324 Plus shipping
10. Porpoise Monkey, Cute and good swimmer (meaty) $23,000 Plus Shipping
11. Republican Monkey, Must Go! (Strom) $17.25 Plus Shipping

Remember, all of our monkeys have a one week warranty. Closest monkey prices you'll find to wholesale!

If you wish to be removed from this mailing list please email back to {insert email address here}
I like Monkeys

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