A bafflingly pointless type of cheese hailing from Switzerland. Fails to meet the traditional aesthetic for Swiss cheese, being less round and cute and full of holes and more like a small ochre-coloured brick. It also smells awful and rates two places below diamond on the Mohs' scale. Sbrinz is used, grated, as a substitute for parmesan in some cases, apparently, though it remains unclear why the person in question would not just use the parmesan rather than something far viler and awkward instead.

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