The following is based on observation of my own pet Guinea Pig
, Kow, and how she reacts to certain objects and stimuli
in her environment. This is hardly of scientific merit, rather casual observations
that have in turn inspired the following treatise.
The guinea pig will approac
h something new to him or her in a reserved manor. Slowly inspecting
this new and presumable interesting thing, deciding whether or not it is dangerous. The danger
factor is apparently decided by the range of motion the subject in question displays. Thus, if the object is moving it is considerably more dangerous and the pig will be less likely to approach it.
Assuming that a guinea pig
has approached a new object, it will attempt to discern the purpose
and usefulness of the object. The first way the pig tests these factors is by licking
the object. If it tastes good, the guinea pig will continue to lick
it and perhaps attempt to bite
it. If the lick yields an unpleasant
result, the animal will most definitely result to biting
. It is debatable whether or not this is sign of an attack
or perhaps sheer curiosity in the taste.
Like Homer Simpson
, guinea pigs will almost certainly spoil the moment
. The usual mode of this is, of course, by urinating
all over you, your furniture, and anything else that should not be peed
on. If this is not the case, the animal will defecat
e on you or your things and sit immobile, concealing it’s crime until you pick it back up to put it away.
Guinea pigs have little reason
to move. They have enslaved
the human race
and force their unwitting owners to bring them food
r with chirp
ing and purring
. It is a rare occasion for one to witness a guinea pig moving more than three
feet in an hour, as they are one of the laziest
animals on earth. It is assumable that their massive bulk
is derived from this sedentary lifestyle that they enjoy.
As always, if you have some observations of your own feel free to /msg rad
and I will gladly add them to the above list.