A catchphrase formerly belonging to Battery Sergeant Major Bryn "SHADDAP" Williams in the classic British comedy It Ain't Half Hot Mum which has recently found a new lease of life as a reaction image online, to the point at which T-shirts and badges are available with said character on it. This is somewhat ironic because he only actually said this twice as far as I can recall.

I quite like it myself. It's a really hand turn of phrase, especially if, like Windsor Davies, you put on a mildly comedic Welsh accent. And you deploy it when you encounter some of the many people in current year who have main character syndrome and get visibly and excessively bent out of shape when something bad happens to them that was a direct result of their own hubris or egotism, and which was very reasonably foreseeable. It's fun because watching them cope and sneed about people having less than zero sympathy for them really pricks their outsized ego. Examples:

  1. Eco protestor glues self to Volkswagen Museum because reasons and the staff simply leave them there overnight with the heating off, lights off, and doors locked, and then said ecocunt gets bent out of shape when they realise they can't use the bog and they've pissed and shat themselves and blames museum staff for making them ransack their dignity in such a way. "Oh dear, how sad, never mind."
  2. Narcissistic documentary film maker who is still sandy in the vag about Brexit attempts to privately prosecute former Prime Minister Boris Johnson with vast crowdfunding money for allegedly lying to Parliament. Case slung out at first instance because it's manifestly brain damaged. Crowdfunders upset and demand money back. "Oh dear, how sad, never mind."
  3. Basement dwelling Reddit user gets bennies cut when he decides not to be bothered to get up early enough to go to the Job Centre to sign on and claim free money from the state. "Oh dear, how sad, never mind."
  4. Fat activist has public tantrum at inability to fit through plane corridor despite by own admission eating many thousand calories a day. "Oh dear, how sad, never mind."
  5. Influencer reeeeee's at Irish hotelier when he publicly refuses her a free stay in exchange for clicks on social media, and then reeeee's more when nobody has sympathy for her freeloading, and then reeeee's even harder when it turns out her old man was a convicted fraudster over his actions during the collapse of Enron. "Oh dear, how sad, never mind."

I think you get the idea. It works because of the juxtaposition between the baroque, hand tragically nailed to the forehead squawking and squealing of the recipient and the deadpan nature of the giver. "Oh but my child went deaf because I believed that charlatan Andrew Wakefield and let him come down with mumps rather than have the MMR vaccine!" "Oh dear, how sad never mind." See what I mean?

Brutal, but funny. I think so anyhow. But then I'm kind of a cunt myself, so there you have it.

(IRON NODER 2023 #2)

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