My God, its been nearly 8 years since I did a daylog, and even longer since I kept a pen and paper journal. In high school I kept a journal, and burned several editions. They were incriminating; not like police incriminating, but you know what I mean. Then a few months later I would start again. Then my still adolescent self graduated and was employed on a cruise line, and a much older man told me to start journaling again, to put my thoughts on paper and sort them out, 'cause, you know, I was bothered. I tried daylogging instead. One time. It helped. Nowadays I seldom think of journaling type activity. When I write, I prefer to create some fiction, and prefer to share it. As such, I post nodes here and there on E2.
There just isnt as much stuff bothering me nowdays. Sometimes I just wish I could go back in time and have a talk with that teenager. Like look dude, maybe a few less cigarettes, a little more Cymbalta. Maybe a little less Fray, a little more Rancid. Maybe a little less pining after superficial girls, cause youre gonna appreciate your intelligent female friends you hang out with as attractive women at a point in the future when its too late.
Obviously, I am doing this, so there must be something bothering me. I think writing it out would be helpful; maybe feedback would be nice. I'm not specifically asking for it, mind you, because Everythingians owe me nothing, in principle and certainly not after all E2 has been to me over the years.
Okay, so, I live in Syracuse, New York. In the city proper. People in the sorrounding suburbs diss the city, as being a high crime area. I think personally, our city's issues are simply more apparent than they are in the suburbs. But I think this place has a lot of potential. I love living here; I love that my wife and I can have a $530 mortgage on a three bedroom house with a fenced in yard for the dogs; I love my ridiculously short commute to work, and that all the goods and services I need are within walking distance. And you mind your own business and nobody bothers you. Theres poverty here, theres slumlords from the outside with no skin in the game. They move African and Asian refugees here, and its a good thing, I believe. I like the diversity, and I like that these people are invested in our city when a lot of Americans moved into the suburbs.
Syracuse is 56% white, 30% black, 9% Hispanic, 5% Asian. Like many cities in the US, the demographics aren't spread evenly across all parts of town. There are parts that are all of one and none of the other, of course. Part I live in, my street has one black family, two Hispanic, three white, three Asian. Which is pretty good. Walk one block away, its nearly totally white. The other direction, nearly totally black. I'm part of the majority, for the record. So I think, anyway; how am I to account for thousands of years of sexual relations that ultimately produced me? Records get lost, memories are fuzzy, people lie.
I'm bothered because I was so naive as to think Syracuse didn't have the racial tensions of other cities, that the main problem was white bigots out in the suburbs who don't know whats good for this city when they discuss our refugees. This past Father's Day, I got a rude awakening, and I'm kicking myself for really thinking Syracuse was, while not perfect, better than other parts of the country.
This past Father's Day, maybe 15 minutes from the part of town wherein I reside, there was a barbecue in a housing project. A for all intents and purposes 100% black housing project. About 11 pm, I guess a single police officer was dispatched there due to a noise complaint and and individual on the sidewalk. From what I gather, the officer seemed to think the person down had a few too many, nothing too serious.
She was like, 23, I guess, tiny little thing, that officer. Apparently she fired her weapon at least once. Certainly, a man died of a gunshot wound.
Then no one said anything for a day or two. The police were accused of murdering the man in cold blood. She was. He was unarmed, apparently. This is all eyewitness stuff. No videos surfaced for a little while. There was talk of the dead guy using an alias, having a pretty serious record. Weapons charges.
Yeah, she's white, the deceased is black. Then a video was released.....she was pushing some guys, they were pushing back, hard to tell whats going on. Some dude kept demanding her badge number, threatening to knock her out. Cell phone video.
Then someone identified her on social media before the PD officially did. Her address, too. Posting photos of her on facebook with words like die, bitch. Apparently, her father was a cop, and not too long ago, he, a retiree, got into some trouble in a bar fight. Pulled a gun, did not fire it. Whatever, people are saying the criminal history of the deceased are irrelevant, too. I figure we must decide it fairly-are both relevant, or both irrelevant, and either way, I suppose thats a wash.
Well, then couple days later, the police released some surveillance video. Real valuable surveillance video I must say, at risk of having my libertarian card revoked. You see people running in one direction. Then the officer, about twenty seconds later, in the other direction, wherever they are running from. Then you see two men following her with handguns, to which, evidently, she is oblivious. She disappears off camera. You see another guy firing in her direction, and then in the distance, you see another guy firing in a totally different direction. The video is telling in that it seems the shooting began prior to the officer's arrival, and in that the narrative was there was no shooting before the police showed up, perhaps no shooting other than that of the officer's at all.
So, well, we have no idea what happened, really. The PD, other than releasing this video, has little to say. Witnesses are uncooperative at best, hostile at worst. It fucks with my head the police havent said anything about it. I think the officer was in the clear, but I wish I had more facts. Mind you, I imagine if I'd shot anyone, under any circumstances, I'd certainly retain a lawyer and he'd certainly advise me to keep quiet about it for the foreseeable future. And I'm sure the PD has its own competent counsel, obviously.
Its the divide. The police have since arrested people, raided homes. Some were multiple family homes, and it seems innocent parties in other units may have had their homes tossed upside down. Theres talk of killing pigs, and getting after the officer in question. I really would like to know what happened.
But the racial divide is palpable as I walk down the street, even though the event was nowhere near here. Nobody of any color wants to give the other the benefit of the doubt. And I thought Syracuse wasn't like other places in America. No, we just hadn't been tested.
How could I be so stupid?