....I don't need to be fixed. Just to heal.......

We're only whole when we're broken.

In the ER for six hours, Rachel was fixing threads in a weaving project. I said, "What about perfection being an insult to Allah? You are supposed to leave an error on purpose."

Rachel said, "The native americans think so too."

The IT said, "The error is when you think you're perfect. There will still be microscopic imperfections that you can't see."

It's easy to be blind when you think you're alone.

Resting heart rate 105 and walking slowly bumps to 125. Normal 60-100. Once again, like running a marathon, though now that I know it's autoimmune, this is the fifth serious illness.

Got my knitting out. On with bedrest. How about a pool? How long will lizardinlaw be out from clinic?
Will her patients return?
Will the hospital provide coverage since they have required that she not even look at a lab?

Should she ever return anyhow? That, o best beloveds, is the real question.......

Discrimination is interesting. If I have a heart attack, that is acceptable. If I were bipolar, not really. Now, does an autoimmune disorder that affects behavior fall into the first category or the second?

Justify your answer.

Or do you treat the heart attack patient and the bipolar one the same?

And it seems that broken heart syndrome is ok: it's not a person being crazy.

Even though it's emotion that broke it.

Really, I'd rather work with a heroin addict then someone who treated a bipolar person differently than a heart attack person. I find that heroin addicts are a fucking lot more honest with themselves and with me.

On logs, milestones and related musings

I'm writing this log on June 19, 2014 mostly because I completely forgot about this event until today.

This day marks my first year of being a member of E2 (everythingian? This site predates most major websites with fixed demonyms). I woke up thinking about my appointment to renew my passport. Then I went on with the rest of the team and the poeple from the WMF to the hotels and venue for next year's Wikimania. We held our collective breath until they gave us the final yay. You can imagine how I could forget about my anniversary here.

It's been an interesting year, far more interesting than I thought when I signed in. I've read lots of things from years past, the kind of stuff that the editors would probably nuke if they were written today. People writing inane things about Webster 1913, weird fiction for the sake of having a laugh, illumination and deep, insightful essays.

When I was a kid, I was taught to never bother people with questions. Unless it was of critical importance, I should only learn about people what they decide to share about themselves. I should never get inside someone else's personal space, its owner should let me in. Everything that was freely and consciously shared with me should be treated as a gift, and even more so if it's of an intimate, personal nature. Confidence is an invaluable and extremely fragile treasure.

This is partly why I'm more of a quiet listener than a loud speaker. I read the stories you share and I keep them inside me. I learn what you choose to share with me and most of the times I don't know what to say.

I read Sunflowers shortly after I saw my mom crying when the last of his sons announced he wanted to study in another city. There was sadness and happiness and a bit of fear in those flowers. I wondered if borgo felt the same.

I've read about Alzheimer's for some time now. I don't know what to say about it, or whether I should say anything at all. I want to, because I imagine I'd like someone to help me during the really bad days (and because I imagine moeyz' bad days might feel worse than mine)

I've read about the point of view of a doctor and a mother in a single person.

I've read many stories. Sad stories, heart-wrenching stories, happy stories, sappy stories. Even though I'm no stranger to the internet and its biggest forums, these stories are probably the best window I've had to other persons. Their actual stories, not just the 15 minutes of fame some are constantly looking for.

Thank you for this year, E2. Here's to more to come.

E2 USER INFO: last update 2014-06-19 14:24:37

Log      +-----------------------+ 25.3%
Thing    +-------------------+     21.3%    
Review   +-----------+             13.3%
Idea     +-------+                  9.3%
Poetry   +------+                   8.0%
Opinion  +-----+                    6.7%
Recipe   +--+                       4.0%
Personal +--+                       4.0%
How-to   +-+                        2.7%
Event    +-+                        2.7%
Fiction  +-+                        2.7%


  1. Thank you for the... uh... informative softlinks :D
  2. gnarl says re June 11, 2014: re demonym: we've always used 'noders'. || Indeed, and now I feel silly for not using that word

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