It looks like I really broke the Cream of the Cool system last week when I replaced my content. My same few writeups have been stuck there the entire time. I pointed the bug out to a few people when it happened, and I suspect it is related to the sequence of events in their removal and return re-triggering editor flags for the front page. If that is what happened, my apologies in advance, because I replaced 94 different writeups and a significant portion of those appeared on the front page at some time. I'm still hopeful that they will clear through on their own. It looks like a couple have finally moved off, and I know they were some of the ones that had appeared on the front page the most, so possibly there is some kind of hierarchy and now the bottleneck has loosened. Any way you shake it, the best I can do is say, "Whoops!"

In other news, Tem appears to have been victorious in the gladiator style fight to the death with Alex over control of the website. Just kidding, Alex stepped down and Tem was next in line. Or was he? I smell an everything2 House of Cards episode in the making. Again, just kidding. Tem is awesome, and I'm glad to see the role pass to him. (Alex, don't think I've forgotten how you hid gwen's Secret Santa present from her for several months to keep the goodies to yourself, and then forgot where you hid it as well! ;) )

I've slowly started rebuilding the giant page that was my home node (thank you Internet Wayback Machine!). Unfortunately I probably will not get a chance to participate in Tem's annual quest this time, although I am marginally assisting him with occasional judging calls on an as-needed basis. I wrecked my arms recently picking up my daughter, who, at 5 1/2 years old, is really on the outside edge of what I should be picking up anyway. So I am once again in a period of limiting my computer use.

Things have been busy here in the sweltering Deep South. We had four pine trees, ranging in size from 60 to 100 feet tall, removed from our backyard. In the very near future, I may be changing positions at work to something much more challenging but with a much better management chain. My daughter will start kindergarten in a few weeks, which is both exciting and heartbreaking at the same time. A friend at work has introduced me to several anime shows on Netflix, and since I'm staying off the computer, I've been watching a lot of them (Sword Art Online, Knights of Sidonia, and Kill La Kill). It would be nice to write about each of these, but that isn't going to happen in the near future.

Be good people, and be outside as much as you can!

-- corvus

Several nights ago my husband complained of chest pain. I was already in pajamas and drinking a glass of red wine, hoping to relax from the crazy confluence of health/caregiver/family events. My first thought was of course, HEART ATTACK. I calmly asked him to point to where it hurt, when he said, "Feel the right side, right near the....round thing; I can't remember the word." So, I felt his right nipple. "Here?" I asked. "No, it hurts on the other side, but be careful 'cause it really hurts if anything touches it." I had relaxed somewhat, thinking OK, NO HEART ATTACK, as I kept my left hand on his right breast and moved my right hand to his left, underneath the t-shirt he was wearing. "Ouch! That's where it hurts."

I had breast cancer almost 17 years ago, so I'm accustomed to doing self exams in the shower. I also remember all too well the surgeon who had me examine three rubber disembodied breasts with 1) benign and no lumps; 2) pea-sized hard lumps that could be malignant and 3) dense or fibrous breasts. What I felt on my husband were pea-sized hard lumps and surrounding swelling. He looked at me and asked what it was. I had a sip of wine and said, "I'm not a doctor, hon, but I'll call one you know in the morning, okay?" He still looked concerned, so I suggested, "How about some ice cream and cookies? You get in your pajamas and I'll get the ice cream." Instant positive reaction.

This is not the first time he has been unable to verbalize pain. From the look and feel of his breast, he's been in discomfort for weeks probably. New thing I need to remember to ask. He fell asleep after the ice cream, but woke me up several times, asking if it was time to go to the doctor. Much like a small child, his sense of time is immediate or distorted.

I called the doctor's office first thing Monday morning and I'll spare you the ridiculous details. Suffice it to say, I didn't get things straightened out until late Tuesday afternoon; was able to get an emergency visit squeezed in today because of two things: we are both NOT NEW PATIENTS and I explained he's got Alzheimer's and wasn't able to tell me that he's been in PAIN for several weeks. And so, the odd but hopefully happy ending, for now, is that because I'm in a clinical trial and my husband said PAIN, the doctor himself called to make sure it wasn't CHEST PAIN. We're scheduled to go to get mammograms and ultrasounds together next week. A first time for everything.


Fuck me running.

Lick Me please.

Sometimes sex is an escape from what is happening. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes sex starts as an escape from what is happening and then it morphs into something fucking else.

Just try not to fucking hurt each other, ok?

Try to do what I say, not what I fucking do.

Be careful out there.

This node was written in Brazil. Gosh, it is fucking gorgeous here.

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