Ah, job searching.
Such a WONDERFUL endeavor.
For the sake of giggles, I entertained one recruiter today. Usually I ask up front who their end client is, the reason being that many of these people are fishing in the same pool for the same employer, and once one person submits you to that employer, it's GAUCHE beyond belief to have someone else submit you.
In I.T. we like to "fast fail". That means if you're going to fail, do it as quickly as you can - that way you've invested the least viable amount of time and money on the endeavor. So it's generally why the very first question I ask is "who is the end client".
This does not sit right with recruiters. The primary reason being that they make their money by talking to people on the phone. Even if they're not closing deals they need to get their entire sales pitch in, which involves asking all kinds of personal questions and so forth. The secondary reason is that many people find out the end client, and then apply directly cutting out the middleman.
So basically the guy calls me up and asks me if I have a moment to discuss the position they advertised (vague job description, no end client mentioned). I say yes, and who's the end client, please. Oh, ho ho ho, sorry, we like to get to know people before we discuss the client.
So I spend half an hour going over my work history, past compensation, what I'd be looking for in a new role, what are my top three competencies, blah blah blah blah blah.
Then he says "okay, thank you for hanging with me. The end client is (employer who's constantly hiring and who I get calls about three times a day)."
"Already been submitted."
"Oh, really? Gosh. Cause you would have been perfect. Was this you submitting, or a recruiter?"
"Well I have this other contract position in a technology set you have NO experience in. Would you be able to do that and have experience?"
"Nope. You asked me for half an hour about what my experience and skills were, so the answer should be obvious."
"For the record, this is why I asked you as the VERY FIRST QUESTION who the end client is. I could have saved YOU and ME half an hour."
"Well, no, hold on - I'll hit the boards and see if there's something else that you're viable for and now you're in our database and blah blah blah."
"No, that's completely incorrect. I'll never hear from you again. You will immediately skip to find another person to fill this "hot req" from a company whose HR department clearly has a revolving door on it. You will put my info into the round file and I'll be completely forgotten. That is, until you post another vague job description I apply for, and we go through these shenanigans again."
"I wouldn't say that"
"I would. I've been doing this longer than you've been doing your side of things. In fact, if you do contact me again for a job I've not been submitted to and it's valid and viable to the skill set I have and you basically go ahead and ask my permission to fill it because we've DONE THIS ALREADY AND DON'T NEED TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN - I'll give you $10 and a steak dinner. Please note I've made this offer before and not once have I ever bought anyone a steak dinner. Good luck with your search."
"Do you have any friends who would be good for this job?" (I want to place them, and kick you out of the running!) "I moved here from the West Coast. Worked remote ever since, so no, I do not know any local people you can hire."
"May I ask who you're interviewing with?" (Trying to figure out if he can call THEM and submit his people for a job I'm going for.)
"Oh, ho ho ho. I like to be hired for a position before giving out such information. (repeated his initial spiel verbatim). No, you may not. Thank you for your time, and have a great week."