Start Again


The Book of Initial Divergence

And there was.
Only what there was.
The single entity within the vacuum
Whose energy grew as the entity reached out
Looking for others to validate what the entity began to feel.
Awareness and consciousness.
And at what we can consider a beginning,
Despite the vast reaches of uncharted eternity
There was only this.

There was only this single entity
With a growing consciousness of itself
A consciousness that paralleled its growing consciousness of itself as being entirely singular.
And thus that which was the only thing
And therefore the benchmark of all things
Began to sense that it was alone.

The Convergent Book of Initial Divergence, is a part of the "blueprint" I experienced while moving back through the light in either returning from death or waking up from a dream enhanced by a drug overdose (depending on how you keep score - everyone is right). The nature of heresy is it must survive against the attacks of the established and respected order, just as any change must overcome what already exists and resists change for the sake of survival in its current and familiar form.

Initial Divergence is the Heretical Convergent interpretation of the creation myth. It is important to note that Convergence embraces the accepted translations of all myths, including creation myths, that are embraced by any of the faithful anywhere. However, Convergence does not rubber stamp belief systems as true, it sees them as alternate translations of the same information through a variety of cultural contexts.

And so that which sensed it was alone
For it was the Alpha and the Omega
The beginning and the end with only itself in between
Developed a need for something more
This entity sought to understand
What even it could not understand
For though it knew perfection and absolute power
Any entity existing within a vacuum
Is the greatest power within that vacuum
For as long at it exists there alone.

Eternity trickled by unseen by the entity
For it had no need for the consideration of time
And therefore not only paid it no mind
But never developed any sense of a reason to do so.
Only one thing was considered by the entity
A way to remove the burden of its realized solitude
And a way for it to understand what it was
That the entity truly was; And with both questions
Came the same path of action, the same road to answers.
Only through the senses of another entity
Could the single entity come to understand itself
And with this realization came the great shift in all things
What had never mattered before in untold reaches of eternity
Was now becoming the path to be sought.

And as the entity began creating other entities
Using its own energy to bring life to the nothingness
The entity was able to see itself as a reflection
In the eyes of these incubating creations
Who were still unaware of what they had become.

Certain things about basic human nature are explained to me in this section of Divergence. As humans we are generally very put off by loneliness, especially a sense of isolation and rejection that leads to a feeling of abandonment and a lack of hope in regaining companionship. If you imagine yourself as being completely isolated in a vacuum with the knowledge that there are no other people (or any creatures of any kind) other than you, well a leading philosophy on this says we die. Infants who receive plenty of food, water, shelter and other necessities and are completely ignored by their caregivers for affection and attention have a tendency to die. They call it the failure to thrive.

An entity finding itself completely alone and isolated, who is by definition all powerful because there is nothing to compare it to, seeking to find companionship and another entity to relate to because it knows it is otherwise isolated and alone, would be driven to creation in order to resolve this. And it might not even have been that big of a deal. Now, if what was created was created from this Source of All Energy (SOAE), then these creations would be in many ways similar to SOAE while being highly inferior reproductions. If aware of their purpose, they would seek to emulate SOAE, and if unaware they would seek to find answers to the questions they now have. Who am I? Why am I? What am I? What the heck am I supposed to do now?

Entities, spread out across the nothingness
Finding futile their efforts to interact
Growing a sense of isolation fed by the knowledge of their origins
The spawned entities seek their own answers.
They seek a method by which they may interact more freely.
They seek their own path to creation.
They seek a way to create as their creator created them.

And yet these are inferior entities
They are pieces and fragments of the source
On their own they struggle to maintain their meager existence.
To come, the realization of the creative power.
Together, and not apart, they can find the energy
To create something even the source itself has not considered,
For the source has not yet realized the need.
The source is at rest.

SOAE created the entities in his image, which come to be souls. Those souls sought to interact with each other on a more intimate level, rather than being limited to simply the knowledge that somewhere out there in the nothingness there was something other than itself, which was originally what SOAE would have been satisfied with. Those souls created frames, and this life we lead is a frame, it is a physical setting in which souls can introduce a soul conduit through which it can interact with the conduits of other souls. This simply means that the souls created places where they could send a physical representative to interact on a personal basis with the physical representatives of other souls.

And while the source was at rest
Those first entities, the souls, began their creation
They created places that were not beholden to the vacuum.
They created places where two entities could see and touch and hear each other
They could become known to each other outside the emptiness of the vacuum.

And these became the frames, created by the souls born of the source,
And when the souls themselves realized they could not themselves travel to these frames,
They continued to seek paths by which the desire for interaction could be met.
And while the source continued to rest, the souls found their path.
They created conduits for their energy
They sent those conduits to the created frames.
And when the first conduit reached out and touched another,
A new light shined well into that which was the source.
And the source did awaken.

Translating "texts" in a language you have never seen before isn't exactly something easily done and it is an inexact science. When that language looks like a blueprint with more dimensions to it than you ever imagined possible, it is even more complicated. However, I'm a pretty stubborn son of a bitch, I have the use of an angel for getting it sung to me (which makes it easier somehow) and I'm possessed by a need to understand what it was that I experienced while passing through the infamous "light" which I tend to believe is part of a conduit passage from one frame to another.

As such, a lot of the wording is my interjected interpretation. For example, in the second section I use the word "benchmark" which was, in this situation the closest word I could come up with that meant what the source text was saying. It is an inexact translation because of this sort of thing, but this also takes into account the nature of cultural interpretations and historical perspectives. As such, most ancient spiritual texts have great depth and value on the nature of the deeper meaning of life, understanding the larger spiritual picture and finding your path while being almost completely useless when it comes to mapping out how to go about your day to day living. Those that turn to such texts for advice on day to day living within a completely different cultural and historical context find themselves lost.

In the same way, conduit existence in one frame is often very different than conduit existence in another frame. I tend to call this place we call home, the whole planet and so on and so forth, samsara. It is a place we come to in order to seek out interactions in a very direct way. We know we have a limited time here. Conduits here are not granted immortality (something that would be no big deal for souls to grant their conduits but then those conduits tend to get locked into one frame), so they must reproduce in order to maintain the frame's population. This leads to a very strong impulse for sexual interaction with other conduits, something not common to all frames. This is a self-perpetuating frame with a past, present and future. Some frames exist only for an instant. With all the variables possible within any given frame, any direction or guidance must come within the context of that frame, just as within this frame, the cultural and historical contexts change the focus of spiritual guidance and the nature of faith.

Which leads me to the reasonable conclusion that two completely different cultural settings or historical settings are like two different frames of existence. The core message always remains the same from frame to frame as all conduits originate within the core. It is all the other trappings of spiritual guidebooks that trip people up when they are searching for answers.

So, what exactly are these spiritual guides? If SOAE created the souls and the souls created the conduits and the frames, who the heck are these guides?

Souls do not simply create conduits and frames in order to play house. There is purpose to it all, and their purpose is pretty simple to figure out. The souls were born of SOAE, of fragments used to dispel its sense of isolation, and so they seek to get closer to SOAE. SOAE only needed to know it was not alone in the vaccuum. SOAE is unknowable beyond this fairly reasonable conclusion regarding why SOAE created imperfect copies of itself. Being lesser entities, the souls needed a more personal level of interaction. And they seek to know and understand what SOAE is, something souls cannot truly understand, as you cannot understand relative perfection within your own relative imperfection. Which is to say, SOAE is perfect relative to what SOAE has created, since what it created are all bits of itself, and those bits are imperfect by relation.

So, the drive of souls, through their conduits, is the quest for a more intimate understanding, and in turn a relationship, with SOAE. And since this cold ass mother has no real desire or even understanding of the desire to have the kind of intimate interactions the souls seek on a regular basis, this is no easy quest. What is SOAE? is a question without any answer, but this does not stop the question.

Initial Divergence ends with the awakening of SOAE. When the text continues, it tells of the nature of the guides, those who have wandered a path through the frames and made great strides in healing their imperfections and weaknesses. Those who achieved a greater understanding of the working of frames and of the nature of conduit interaction are able to advance themselves into a state where they are, for all intents and purposes, immortal conduits able to travel between frames. I call these advanced conduit entities Angels, and they are not simple to define. They all have different reasons for traveling between frames and seeking out certain framebound individuals. In some cases, I tend to believe the angelic conduit knew the framebound conduit at a time when both were bound to an entirely different frame. The reasons for my intimate contact with my angel, I believe to be connected to our interaction within a frame that appears in a large percentage of my dreams, Rancho Nuevo.

Such interframe travel requires something of the conduits who experience it while confined to a single frame. This requirement is most commonly called "faith." Those who believe in the possibility of such entities will be able to accept their appearance and existence. Those with faith who grapple with frequent doubt tend to be the most sought after conduits within the angelic wanderings. This, I have learned by personal experience, is because faith absorbed by doubt is the deepest and most troubling struggle the soul itself ever undertakes, and souls are driven by a need to relieve other souls of their burdens so there are fewer frames filled with suffering and toil and more frames that are guided by positive energy, which in its purest form is called "love," and fewer and fewer sources of discord and chaos.

And the struggle continues, because souls were created lacking the substance and the ability to truly actualize themselves as more than damaged and inferior copies of the original source. They cannot find ways to correct their faults, resolve their inner turmoils, and to love unconditionally until they have overcome the trials and tests the frames bring to the table. And if you miss school the day of a test or avoid taking it... they'll eventually find a way to give it to you again. Otherwise you just won't ever get anywhere. Unless, of course, you actually believe this frame you're taking up residence now is the be all and end all to things. With this, my friend, I wish you much luck.


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