Celebrate Incompetence Day!

It occurs on the eighth or ninth Monday of the second or third month --or is it second or third Monday? Eighth month? Fourth Monday? Is it even Monday?

Forget it. You can celebrate Incompetence Day any damn day you desire. To get you started, here's how I celebrated my last Incompetence Day:

One of my workplace responsibilities is to output a network status report every Monday morning, chronicling the events of the previous week. My company has a multitude of sites (okay, 23) across North America, and for each site there are four individual status pages. My duty is to go to an intranet page, fill in a CGI form, and get all of the reports and print them. After that, I sort them, bind them, and summarize the summaries. This week, though:

  • I forgot to select "Print Pages 1 to 1" and wasted almost 100 pages of paper and color toner/ink on a meaningless footer.
  • Lacking desk space, I laid some of them out on the floor. Of course, this is the same floor I roll around in my ancient throne-like (it's ugly brown upholstery) chair, meaning I had to reprint a quarter of the pages.
  • I started using the three-hole punch instead of the binding punch, so now half of the pages have both sets of holes--and now some of the pages don't line up with either set of holes.
  • I printed the entirely wrong sites or the wrong dates for a couple of the reports, and printed several duplicates of others.

All in all, a two to three hour job ended up taking me two-thirds of the day. And that's what I call a good Incompetence Day.

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