I had tried to be so kind, I had put in every effort, it had ended anyway, with no reason given. I bit the bullet. I took it as best i could. But when i heard she hooked up with not one, two, three, but four of my good friends in one night, while i was present, i realized the futility of believing in trust. i began to feel it surging through me. All this being nice, open, and trustworthy got me nothing. All this niceness had held my better half down. I began to wonder if i was restraining the right portions of myself. Suddenly those Tool lyrics made so much more sense...

I just relaxed, and let it flow, unhindered.

It was unexplainable, but I could feel that familiar sensation again, the burning behind my eyes. I knew my eyes werewide open, and I had a smug little grin on. I could feel it surging through me, every vein filled with its essence. My eyes continued to grow. I could feel the push in the back of my neck, going down. something was inside. The rage, the anger, the betrayal, it was all so comfortable. I began to remember what it felt like to be alive. Then it began to hit me, it was so obvious. I was alive here. I was at home. The betrayal, the anger, fed me. I had never been more alive. I hadn't felt this much power in a long time. But everything else washed away, i saw nothing but my goals. The clearest path was the only one visible. yes, i knew it now.

I was Alive Again.

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