We all are not the people we think we are. I am just finding this out about myself, in particular. Most often I am thought to be calm, mild, wise, intelligent, patient, smug, thoughtful, contemplative and rational.

This is not always true. Sometimes, I can be quite an asshole. I am finding it easier these days to be inflexible, blunt, frustrated, annoyed, judgemental, grumpy, rude, uncaring and thoughtless.

Still, though, I get met by people who say things like, "I wish I understood things the way you do" or "I wish I could speak like you do."

This is not egotism, it is merely fact; people actually do say these things. We say these things to each other every day and, more often than not, don't pay attention to it. What I don't say back to them, and am wishing I COULD, is this:

"I wish I could have some passion, like you do. I wish I could be more emotional. I wish I could be less rational. I'd give every good quality I have up entirely to be irresponsible and care-free for just one day- just to say that I had been that once."

There are times in our lives when we all wish we could be someone else. Richer, smarter, wiser, friendlier, stronger, prettier... I think we become those things when we become happy with who we are- and not who we aren't.

I hear friends and acquaintences talk about their adventures of youth and find myself asking, silently, "What happened to my childhood? Did I EVER live like a kid?" I had a childhood, yes, but I'm not entirely certain that I ever lived.

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