Sheep, those four legged woolly sex pots with their rugged good looks, husky bleating voices and ovine libido, can be troublesome to count at the best of times.

While we refer to the number in a flock as the number of head of sheep, it is hard to tell the difference between the head and tail of the sheep from above, just as it can be difficult to tell where one sheep ends and another begins.

This is why the approach commonly adopted by sheep farmers that have lived on sheep farms for a long, long, long time is thus:

  • Count the legs.
  • Divide by four.
If the result is not an integer, or, for long term sheep farmers, a whole number, try again. This time, don't count your own legs.
If you still don't get an integer you may just find your next spit roast in the flock. You may also consider putting the mastiff you trained as a sheep dog to sleep.

If you are having a roast, round the number down. If you are selling the sheep, round the number up and hope no one notices.

... and for future reference there is a huge difference between an Old English Mastiff and an Old English Sheepdog

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