Ah, The Everything2 Podcast. One of my rare better ideas. Since it's going pretty well, with about 150-200 downloads per show and a venerable backlog of noder's contributions lingering in the inbox, and the complaints about individual contributions rising, it's time to set some guidelines. What would everything2 be without guidelines, rules and standards? Exactly. Anarchy. Editors and Gods would be out of a job in minutes. So, let's make some up for the podcast.

Step 1: Choose your node.

When picking the node that you want to read or that you want to have read, remember that that piece of work will be a part of something bigger. What I am trying to say is that your node on the molecular distribution of ATP in the West - Gash Nixhound might be a fascinating read that is being actively sought by the members of the exobiology usergroup, but might rather be a bit of a bore for the rest of humanity. Factual nodes are actively encouraged, but it should be something that appeals to all of us, i.e. Britney Spears, Matt Bianco or Amitriptyline (YOU know what I mean). When it's poetry or prose you dig, the same rules apply. Leave the author a little message and ask him/her for permission. Feel the love in your inbox. Now read it out loud. Everything over 5 minutes is poopoo.

Step 2: Record your node

A lot of noders have a 2.50 dollar microphone lying around somewhere. That's absolutely fine, use that for your recording, mine was probably even cheaper. Download Audacity and Lame for your operating system (it's a teeny wee download) and install them. Fire up Audacity and make sure that you choose the microphone as your source of input. Adjust the input levels so that the little red bars don't turn deep red during your recording (otherwise you will be clipping the sound). Make sure the recording is in mono (you can adjust that in the preferences) and set the sample rate to 32000 hz. Record your node. You want to have your microphone close to your mouth, but not so close that your breath hits the membrane (you can put a little paper shield on the microphone to prevent the 'popping sounds' that you hear sometimes). Play it back. Is there too much background noise? Maybe your input levels where too high and the microphone was to far away? Try again with the mic closer and the levels down. Too much Echo? KtheJoker advises "..the very best hint for bedroom mic recording - move the mic as close to the center of the room as possible. The reason most people on computer mics sound echo-y is the wall right in front of them."

Step 3: Export your node

Happy with the recording? Excellent. Now export it as an MP3. Audacity might ask you for the location of LAME. Have a listen to the finished masterpiece. Like it? Excellent.

Step 4: Bring it to me

You have a number of choices: you could burn it to CD and drop it off in Oamaru or deliver it via coach. You could of course send it to me via email: write something nice, attach the finished MP3 and whisk it off to:

Now wait and see what I do with it. Do I garble the audio? Cut something off? Make a rude remark? Any questions left? Gimme a tinkle.

Happy recording.

Audacity can be found at
Lame can be found at

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