Well Son, let me tell you a story...
I wouldn't like to think of myself as a "bad ass" or "rebellious" person, actually, I've been on the Honor Roll all my life! I just happen to appreciate the beauty in the art body modification, however my parents are not particulary crazy about it. They let me get my ears pierced when I was 8, then two more piercings on each side. With a total of 6 earrings at the age of twelve, I was hooked! By time I was 13, a top hoop and vertical barbell had joined the family of holes in my body, located at the top of my left ear. About year before the "Navel Craze" begun, I got my bellybutton professionally done when my father took me. This came as a surprise to me, because he's turned down my pleas several times in the past. The only reason he ever got the crazy idea that it was justified in his mind is because my mother, with a little bit more of a free-spirit, let my younger sister dye her hair purple, a bright purple. So that summer, with my fully healed bellybutton ring, and 8 earrings, I thought I was "some hot shit" struttin' my stuff on the beach, until I noticed that every damn teenager also possessed the same amount or more pieces of metal hanging out of man-made holes in their body. My special-ness factor in my mind hit an unsatisfying low.

I've always craved a facial piercing, especially eyebrow, but that crossed the line with my parents, there was no way in hell they would let me get one. If I had pierced it myself, (of course, which I wouldn't, in fear of hitting a nerve, vein, or just totally fucking up), it would be ripped out of my head at first sight by my daddy. So late one night, totally out-of-the-blue, I sat and pondered, "How could I get away with another one?" Lightbulb!! A labia ring? A labia ring, of course! They would never suspect it, or happen to notice it, seeing how I'm usually very private when it comes to exposing myself other to than my love and myself. It seemed like a great idea, maybe because it was 3am, or maybe because I'm a devoted fan of body modification, either way, I quickly gathered supplies: A 2 inch long safty pin, I estimated about the same width of a 16 gauge piercing, a lighter and alcohol to sterilize it, hydrogen peroxide, for extra-special cleanliness, and my trusty handmirror.

After my utensils and my center of attention for the time being were squeaky clean, I sat down on a towel in my room and had my legs out infront of me, knees bent up and outward, and my feet holding up the handmirror. I was very happy I took gymnastics when I was a youngster. I explored the region I had planned to pierce, making sure it was not too high, not too low, not right through a vein (not good). When the location was definite I took the safty pin, and with a steady hand pushed on the outter layer of skin, just seeing how it felt. When I noticed it wasn't so uncomfortable, I pushed a little harder. "Cake" I thought to myself. Everything was peachy keen until the pin went deeper. Never had a shock of pain, like a lightning bolt, race through my entire body like it did in that moment. I could have fainted, and I have an extremely high tolerance for pain, (no shit, right? I'm piercing my genitals!). I pulled my hand back. Maybe it was lack of sleep, maybe it was determination, nonetheless, I didn't stop. I tried again, only to recieve the same gut-wrenching pain. I took a deep breath and stood up. I put on some music, very quietly, seeing how my parents were in the next room, and this was kinda a hard thing to explain if you were to get caught in the situation. (Can you imagine??) Anyway, I sat back down and, very slowly, penatrated my skin. It was half way through, not like it had a far way to go, but it seemed like it was miles before the tip of the pin emerged to the surface. I glanced at the clock which read 6:08am and then, to my surprise, the pin went through! I was so elated that I didn't mind the pain. I slid the pin upwards and clasped it shut, pat myself on the back, and looked at my work closely in the mirror. At this time I was exhausted and yet extremely excited. I washed up a bit, but it took me at least an hour to finally go to sleep. For the next couple of days I had a 2 inch long safty pin hanging out of me, until I bought a 16 gauge hoop with a black ball for it.

I couldn't believe how painless this piercing has been so far, other than the initial welcoming to the neighborhood. Now I am back to feeling all special, and only close friends and my purple-headed sister know about it. I never yet regretted my compulsive, spontaneous, ever-so-like-me, piercing adventure.

Note: I am not responsible for any bad ideas that readers may get after viewing this passage, I am a nut case. Highly trained people, with professional instruments, that get paid for poking holes in people, are much rather reccomended for ANY SORT of piercing. Please consider the risk of nerve damage, severe bleeding, nasty infections, and the like, that often occur with such foolish behavior. I was lucky....

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