Track 11 on Choking Victim's album No Gods / No Managers (Hellcat, 1999). A lively ska tune about the excitement and morality of shoplifting. This is one of the brighter songs on the album, lyrically and melodically, but it fits in well with CV's usual subject matter which is generally the denunciation of government, society and in this case capitalism.

Lyrics:

A walk through the product store and 15 aisles to see
All the pretty, pretty packages staring back at me
Which is my favorite, where is my chance
To remove the product, and stick it down my pants

Chorus:
'Cuz I wanna see, what's on sale? what's for free?
Every time I go to shop I steal from enemies
Who steal from me, and from you
If you only knew, then you would steal too!

Adrenaline rushes, the product's in my grip
I am only shopping, but now it's time to lift
I look for my moment, and down my pants I stick
The product I've selected is concealed against my dick

Chorus

Paranoid as fuck, security in tow
Is he really trailing me and does he really know?
Of my little secret: my pride and his shame
This is so exciting, it's like a fuckin' game
I'm almost to the counter, will I make it do the door?
Will I get away like a million times before?
Or will I be caught, jailed, banned from the store?
Like if the product I've selected slips and crashes to the floor

FIVE-FINGER DISCOUNT!!!

Chorus

I get to the door and out the door I slide
I feel a sense of dignity, I feel a sense of pride
I do a happy dance and down the street I bail
As I have a little feast of what's on sale!


See my No Gods / No Managers write-up for these five-finger discounters' opinions on copyright.
'Five-finger discount' is a colloquial expression for stealing or, more specifically, shoplifting. It has been derived from the use of one's digits or 'fingers', if you will, to take the item and slip it gently into one's pocket or purse.

Some humor has been gained from the use of the word discount to alleviate the common misconception that all theft is wrong. Whichever clever individual came up with this phrase apparently drew a line between the sale or 'discount' that most stores or supermarkets make on some of their items. Therefore, a five-fingered discount is, effectively, a 100% discount... This closely relates to a five-toed discount or the far less common one-tongued discount, but these two spin-offs of the old classic can only be accomplished in areas where no footwear is worn or where the stolen items are tasted, respectively.

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