I usually only drink while cleansing myself if I have a tub. Showers get water in the beer. Although, the other day, I was taking a shower, and I gradually turned up the water temperature until I could barely stand it, and got so relaxed that I could barely move, and the only thing I could think was: "If only I had an ice-cold lager..." The thought still haunts me, and I think I'm going to set aside a super relaxation day, just to try drinking a bunch of liquor and beer in the shower. I hope I don't drown.

I have now ascertained that there is nothing in this world that is so relaxing as drinking in the shower. After careful examination, I think I have elevated it to an art... Here follows a list of the proper procedure.

  1. Get in the shower.
  2. As you shower, turn the heat of the water up.
  3. when the water temperature has reached its (or your) maximum, allow the water to stream down on your face, focused (especially good with a massaging shower head) just above your nose, between your eyes.
  4. This will relax you greatly. As you start entering this state of bliss, turn around, open your beer, and begin to drink, while occasionally turning around to keep your whole body warm. I reccommend a lager, but in a pinch malt liquor will do.
  5. Once done with the beer, turn off the water, towel off, and collapse into bed naked (music optional) and realize that to you, there exists no such thing as stress.
This perfect world lasts for roughly 1/2 to 1 1/2 hours. Treasure it.

"I am shocked, just shocked, to find out that there is drinking going on in this establishment."

"Here is your cocktail, sir."

"Oh, thank you."

Seriously though, don't knock it until you've tried it. There is no better way to pass the time on a Friday after work/school and before going out for the night than taking a scaldingly hot shower and sipping an ice cold American beer.

(My other beer is a Guinness.)
During the 15-30 minutes in the shower, one can almost pretend that the evening is not going to be the usual depressing failure it inevitably turns out to be. (j/k)

Those of us who are still in college sometimes host keggers. And, oftentimes, the keg is kept in the bathtub to minimize messes and provide a handy container for ice to keep the keg chilled. And sometimes the keg doesn't get finished and must be slowly tackled by the residents of the household that hosted the party before it can be returned and the deposit refunded.

In such a situation, drinking beer in the shower is really the only way to go. The beer's there, you're there. There's no danger of dilluting the beer. And you have to drink it anyway. There's nothing like the feeling of stepping out of the shower scrubbed and clean, save the feeling of stepping out of the shower scrubbed and clean and stone drunk.

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