Eerie how the hands were placed around me as if I was some kind of toy. I felt used and manipulated. I was out of control, with my hands tied behind my back and legs tied together at the ankles. I had to let him touch me, feel my flesh as if it were his own. I was forced to let him do anything he wanted to me, and he did. I was beaten, and caged, like an animal.

At night he let me watch the news, watch my parents cry and beg to let me out. He forced me into submission, and forced everything around me to become what I hated. I was being shown my biggest fear. Why?

Was this some dream relating to my experiences using females myself?
Was I realizing that I had been the guy torturing girls in my own relationships?
Was I just having a nightmare?
Will I ever know?

I guess I realized something tonight. At least I have that.

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