Where assholes play Risk

Dominate Game (http://www.dominategame.com) is an online Risk game built and maintained by random Norwegian, Emiel Bruijntjes. If you dig Risk, old school computer game interfaces, absurd flamewars, lots of lag and frequent server outages, then come on over and enjoy. If you dig slick graphics, real time strategy, Mac computers, and civil discourse, you are shit out of luck butt rod. Like Everything2, people become inexplicably addicted to Dominate and a definite community has sprung up in its manky crevices.

The first time you play

The game was programmed back in the DOS era and is far from intuitive. Most new players mess up the first few games simply because they can't figure out the interface. Unlike the boardgame, there is a timer and you have to hit the "Finish" button on the upper toolbar at the end of your turn or you lose. This is by far the biggest noob mistake. Learning the several buttons at the top will save you a lot of grief. Better still, read the newbie section on the website. I know I didn't.


The standard Risk map, called New World Map, is available, but there are also custom maps made by the users. A particular favorite is a European map based on Roman times, called Rome 4.0. Another popular map is called Panzer and is based on the Second World War. Making a map is a painstaking process since there is no undo function and the smallest mistake makes the map completely unusable. Still, people do it and are usually rewarded by being told the map is ugly and unusable. Which is undoubtedly true.

The Lingo

There are four very common things you will read in the in-game chatbox: teamer, placer, suicider, and camper. The worst possible insult is teamer. You are strictly forbidden from teaming up with someone you know in order to win games. These games are rated and people try very hard to crack 2000. If you are caught teaming you are banned. I'm not sure about the technicals but I think the ban is based on your MAC address and not your IP. If that makes sense.

Next on the gravity ladder is "placer". A placer is someone who doesn't try and win, but simply goes for second place, which still assures them a bump in the ratings. This is not illegal but heavily frowned upon and if you do it you can expect lots of insults. A "suicider" is someone who throws all their armies at you and then drops from the game. A "camper" is someone who does nothing but collect armies all game in the hopes of emerging at the end to sweep away their weakened opponents.

Randomly accusing someone of any of these things is an excellent trolling tactic.

In conclusion

Dominate has a terrible interface and is populated by some of the lamest dog fuckers on the internet. Not only that, the administrators sometimes abuse their powers and hand out temporary bans if they lose a game. The lag can result in you losing a game because you didn't hit the finish button on time. Also, most games drag on for hours, just to be decided by someone suiciding, making any strategy you were trying to implement totally moot. I really don't know why I play so much. Maybe because it is free or because there is always a game about to start. Maybe I just like insulting people.

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