Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't.

Unbelievably, many women have done this over the years. In some places, women into a certain form of bestiality called "belly-riders" would lie suspended from a harness hung from the horses back while they march in a parade, sometimes naked, but always wearing skirts if clothed. (This practice in parades has since been outlawed in those countries since the women kept getting killed.)

The problems with this are many, since it's still your perogative if you want to have sex with horses or not, hey, ain't nobodys buisness if you do, I will not pass judgement on this practice, other than the medical problems I will now mention.

• A horse's cock is usually somewhere between two to five feet long when erect. The length to a woman's vital organs is signifigantly less than this. The width is also usually one to three or even as many as four inches wide. This math does not work out. If a horse, which is a lot stronger than you are, shoves its erect member into you too hard, it will literally pierce your vital organs. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this doesn't sound like a huge turn on to me.
  
  
• If a horse isn't aroused for whatever reason and decides to rest, IT WILL SIT DOWN ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE UNDER IT. owwwwwww.
  
  
• If the horse becomes panicked, it will run, because the harness holds you so close to the horses body, it will kick you with its shins in your legs and head with great force.
  
  

In conclusion, do not have sex with horses unless you are a professional, have the proper training, don't care what other people will think if they find out, and don't mind the possibility of extreme bodily injury and/or death, and breaking the law.

I mean, I've heard of daredevils, but this is ridiculous.

(edit: I first wrote this when I was about 15~ years old.  Now that I'm 35 I'd like to say that my position on having sex with horses remains negative.  As a young man I stated that I would not judge others for having sex with horses.  I lied. If you had sex with a horse between 2000 and 2019 please know that I did, in fact, judge you.)

In my class on European History, we are lucky to have perhaps the world's craziest teacher. Mr. Ackerman fills his lectures with tidbits he finds amusing and historical side notes, many of them vulgar.

My personal favorite involves the death of Catherine the Great of Russia, which reputedly occurred as she was attempting to have sex with a horse. This of course never actually happened, but it interests me nevertheless because I have no idea how a rumor like that could have been started.

Were there tabloids in the 18th century? Or did some foe of the Tsars pay historians to lie? And either way, why would you try to make people believe such a thing? It reminds me, in a way, of the Piltdown Man.

Of course, the whole horse-fucking rumor is all the more hilarious when you consider that the woman who was possibly the only benevolent, effective leader in Russian history is remembered only for her nonexistent, perverted means of death.