Have you ever been, say, at a party, out with a group of friends, or even on a date, and somehow, in some way, you wanted to draw attention to your muscular arms? Well, fear not, because I am going to provide you with a by-no-means-comprehensive list, a good starting point of dialogues, which will help you initiate a conversation about your arms!

How to use this guide:

Pretend that you, the reader, are “you” in each of these dialogues. Your unsuspecting friend, date, acquaintance, or victim is the “friend” in each dialogue. Usually the “friend” will walk right into the line, being caught unaware by the unexpected question or comment you pose. I will also give you a signal at the point at where you should “flex your arms.” Good luck!

You: Do you have tickets?
Friend: Tickets to the what?
You: The Gun Show! (flex arms)

You: Anyone have the number of a good veterinarian?
Friend: No, why?
You: Because these puppies are sick! (flex arms)

You: So a police officer told me I’m not allowed to wear shirts with sleeves anymore!
Friend: Why?
You: Apparently New York State has a law against carrying concealed weapons! (flex arms)

You: So a police officer told me I can’t leave the house without long sleeves on!
Friend: Why’s that?
You: Apparently there’s a law against letting pythons loose in public! (flex arms)

You: Anyone have a needle and thread?
Friend: No, what for?
You: Because I’m ripped! (flex arms)

You: Anyone have the number of a good plumber?
Friend: No, not off the top of my head, why?
You: Because these pipes are gonna burst! (flex arms)

You: Does anyone have any mice?
Friend: What? No! Why?!
You: Because these pythons are hungry! (flex arms)

You: Do you have a Band-aid?
Friend: Sure, what for?
You: Because I’m CUT! (flex arms)

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