December 9, 2013

Today I slept in, took a long nap after I put clean sheets on my bed, and woke up feeling slightly drunk and hungover even though I was sober. Yesterday we found out that Jane has pneumonia so that meant a trip to the hospital, another to the pharmacy, I bought grape Popsicles for her at her request, her pediatrician said not to worry about her lack of appetitie, and that fluids were more important than solids so I stocked up on juice, and bought her a burger at the hospital cafeteria since that's what she wanted. I picked up a small bottle of a Respiratory Cough essential oil blend. I really like the way that it smells, the girls complain about it, but they both stood in the bathroom with the shower running and a few drops in the pooling water.

This summer I switched to a pediatrician in town. I'm going to switch back to the one we had previously, just because I feel like she understands me better. She said she would have seen Jane on Thursday, a NP was on call so we saw her instead. I don't think she did a bad job, but I did suspect pneumonia then, and I wonder if maybe it would have been caught earlier had someone else evaluated Jane. Perhaps not though. It's hard to tell, and I'm not going to stress myself out by second guessing what could have happened. So I'm going to keep this brief because I'm still very tired. A lot of new changes, most of them for the better, and I can't keep worrying about the future, I have to enjoy the hear and now, and take good care of myself so I can take better care of others, like Jane.

What am I excited about lately? Everything. Life is coming back together in the most excellent way. I have friends who will take me mushrooming and show me where to find chanterelles, and friends who will cheerfully follow me mushrooming through blackberry brambles and scrambling up and down the West Hills and on top of logjams and up embankments. Later we will pick brambles out of our skin. Later we will cook blackberries and drink beer in our delicious revenge.

I'm excited about nights of Cards Against Humanity, and friends teaching me about the right way to apply eyeshadow, friends who will teach me how to make lamps and crochet scarves. I'm excited about friends who encourage me to dream about Detroit, Michigan to think about it in the modern, more mythical sense that every kid my generation thinks of, to realize that somewhere we still believe in the great industrial dragon of poverty and economic breakdown, of market forces, that, if we're clever enough, we can bring down with sword and shield and hacker tenacity.

(We can't, of course, and our dreaming of defeating the dragon is rank imperialism and classism, but that won't stop us from dreaming of simpler justifications.)

My friends tell me how much shipping containers run - $2-$3k. Another says, thoughtfully, he can use the torch to cut holes in the walls. Our only blocker: money to make it happen, a plumber to plumb the new structures, money for pouring foundations. There's a thought among us: we can make this happen.

But does it happen before or after we take over and rebuild a warehouse to suit us? These things have me grinning and almost dancing: yeah, of course, the rooftop garden. Yeah there's going to be a wood shop, and we're going to put Zoller in charge of the kitchen. Who do we nominate as majordomo?

They don't know it yet, (though doubtlessly some suspect) but there's going to be a server room in one of these, and eventually, backup generators.

It's good to have goals, and my goal is deceptively simple: build all the things. Make all the things.

Guys, I am really goddamn excited.