As you, blissful programmer, hack away at your Perl, your VB.Net, you Javascript...
As you learn the tricks of regular expressions, and the joys of operator overloading...
Aso you debate the merits of ASP and JSP...

A monster lurks.

An evil beast, determined to bore you to death and eat your soul.

That monster....

COBOL

"But it can't happen to me," you say.

"I work on the web, not at a bank. No legacy systems here!"

How wrong you are.


WORKING-STORAGE SECTION.
01 WS-VARIABLES.
05 my-variable PIC X(40).
05 WS-CONTENT-LENGTH PIC 9(05).
PROCEDURE DIVISION.
0000-MAIN.
GETENV USING `CONTENT_LENGTH` WS-CONTENT-LENGTH.
IF WS-CONTENT-LENGTH IS GREATER THAN 0 THEN
ACCEPT DATA FROM WEBPAGE
END-IF.
DISPLAY `Content-type: text/html`.
DISPLAY LINEFEED.
DISPLAY `<HTML><BODY>`.
DISPLAY `<CENTER>Hello World</CENTER>`.
DISPLAY `my-variable: ` & my-variable.
* comments and rest of program omitted

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha.
(This ghastly abomination brought to you from cobolscript.com)

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