Howie Long, host of Fox NFL This Morning, recently said that Brian Urlacher was 'the best middle linebacker in the NFL'. He lives in Lake Bluff, Illinois in a six bedroom home with his dogs (basset hounds), his wife Laurie and his two year old daughter Pamela. His younger brother, Casey, is also a football player, and lives with the Urlachers so he can attend Lake Forest College. It is expected that he will be as good, if not better than his older brother when he's finally drafted. Brian Urlacher currently endorses McDonalds, which he claims is his 'favorite restaurant', and Madden Football 2K3 which has a picture of him on the cover in all his Chicago Bearian glory. When in the city of Chicago, he frequents Cubs games, where he was invited to sing the Seventh Inning Stretch two years ago, and has been seen at The Leg Room, a bar on Division Street, and Gibsons, a high end steak house on Rush.

The following facts are simply gathered by speaking with rabid Bears fans

Brian Urlacher can heal the sick with a touch of his hand. His barbed wire tattoo emits beams of light which force others to tell the truth. Brian Urlacher can fly. Brian Urlacher knows the secret to cold fusion. He knows all the words to "Its The End Of The World As We Know It". He can have sexual intercourse for forty five minutes at a time and is ready to go again ten seconds later. Brian Urlacher wrote Les Miserables. He can make a mean Chicken Picatta. Brian Urlacher will find Osama bin Laden and singlehandedly bring him to justice. Brian Urlacher can eat fifty hardboiled eggs. Every Christmas Eve, Brian Urlacher loads up a sleigh filled with toys and delivers them to all of the good boys and girls in the world. He knows how to knit. Brian Urlacher holds the world record for 100m Butterfly in swimming. He scored a perfect 10 on the uneven bars. He invented vodka. Brian Urlacher so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. He is the embodiment of everything good and sane in this messed up world, and he was named NFC Defensive Player of the Week for September 15th, 2002.

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