she said
slouched in front of my terminal at home, now, i read all the mail i've gotten from you in chronological reverse... i shouldn't do this to myself. there's only so much of your text i can take at one time, and to walk back through all these months has left me, to quote a song i can't recall, crushed by the absence of you. sobbing into my keyboard, partially with the ecstatic knowledge (rememberance) that i'm not alone in the world (more on a level of understanding than physical presence) and partly because there are times (this among them) when love is the most terrible pain. but it is a good pain in a way; the pain that tells you you're still is an odd time wherein no words will suffice, but i would find peace and rest swiftly and easily in your warm embrace.

i do not think i will sleep tonight. every time i close my eyes, i catch just the briefest flicker of you; the smell of your sweat, the taste of your lips, a blink of your stunning warm gold eyes...

i know it's just an overload, and i'll be over it soon, but it still hurts so much to be without your touch.

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