(Lights go down on BACKSTAGE, come up on OMP.)

ALEX: You know, I think you might be right with your theory. Everyone just wants everything in their life to be more simple.

PARKER: (Grunts.) Mmhmm.

ALEX: Though if that were true, I don't know why we'd change from four words for love to just one. Makes it so much harder to explain what we mean when we say "I love you."

PARKER: Maybe not. Maybe every type of love is the same, in the end. Maybe love for a boyfriend is the same as love for your family is the same as love for your friends.

ALEX: Huh. (Beat.) Where does physical attraction fit into that?

PARKER: (Beat.) It's not a perfect theory.

ALEX: Mm. What time is it?

PARKER: It is... (PARKER checks their watch and reads out the current time.)

ALEX: Wow. Did we just waste that much time talking about love stories?

PARKER: Depends how you define waste.

ALEX: Spending a significant amount of time without any concrete output.

PARKER: Oh. (Beat.) Then yes. We did just waste that much time.

ALEX: Goes to leave. Well, I'm sorry about that.

PARKER: No, no. This has been nice. Just talking to someone who I never got to see enough. Still, I’m sorry I couldn’t help you figure anything out.

ALEX: I don’t know. This has been nice. A good way to pass the time.

PARKER: Yeah. So do you think you learned anything?

ALEX: (Beat.) No.

PARKER: Well, one last try. Whatever that girl’s name was - Emerson, right? Call her up. Try speaking to her. It can’t hurt.

ALEX: I couldn’t. It’d be too weird. I… I just couldn’t.

PARKER: Oh well. Worth thinking about.

ALEX: (Beat.) Want to do this again tomorrow?


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