"You should be aware that in some parts of the house there is not enough air to breathe. It must be the water heater. We just do not go there at all."

"Well, it is an old house."

"The hole in the corner ... you see ? A small capibara lives there. He is nice, will hardly ever eat your underwear - the main advantage is that we have no rats nor mice. They are all scared"

"I like pets," I said

"At midnight you might hear noise. There is nothing to worry about, really, just do not come out in the corridor to investigate, eh ? Unless you are ready to help with the business at hand."

"I would probably be sleeping at that time of the night."

"You can invite people over, but only in prime numbers. There is some problem with the total number of people in the house and its dimensional stability. Let us just say that if you find the room suddenly shrinking or shaking or ... changing, you should ask one of your guests to get out, preferably by way of the window."


"What else ? Ah, yes. No evocations. The fire demon does not like company. Cell phones will not work, the house is fully faradized. The rent is $300 per month, paid on the 5th or the 7th, but never on the 6th for reasons that will be obvious to you, heh, real soon."

"It's a deal, then".

I moved in, and I am quite happy with the place. I even gave the capibara a name, although he hardly ever answers. Self-willed bastards, those rodents.

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