"Church Membership DOES NOT Guarantee Salvation!"

A full-page, largely inarticulate advertisment in the local-yokel newspaper. A few choice excerpts:

"Year 2000 is computer age - smart kids will be telling parents - Get Buried to receive Holy Ghost & Fire not just to get wet... Take the Baptism Bowl of Baal & Destroy It"

Give Me the Scripture
Where God's Word or Jesus Said

Infant's Baptism by sprinkling or pouring before repentance - This Lie Comes from Hell Itself.
I Guarantee To Give You A Million dollars.

'Go Back To The Bible'
The Youth Want The Truth - NOT INSANITY

Of course, they claim the response to the last ad was "99% favorable, 1% nasty", and that respondents claimed "'This is the best article to hit the newspaper'" and that "'people who never went to church are coming.'" The purpose of the ad is to get people to order a free book from "Soul Clinic Ministries", headed by "Bishop Charles Behney, D.D. (Devil Defeater)".

It would be funnier except for the fact that I have to live in the same county with people such as this.

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