Seasonal greeting for our politically correct times
"Happy Holidays doesn’t cut it."
— Bea Hines
"You forgot Festivus!"
— one of my customers
I was brought up a Christian in a England, which was not only a Christian country, but a country with a constitutionally established religion. "Merry Christmas!" was the seasonal greeting in my youth and for years I didn't question this, or the existence of other religions. Happy in my ignorance, you might say.
I progressed through teenage questioning of my childhood faith, adult rejection of organised religion as a feature of my life, and finally into the middle age of strong agnosticism. I learned in my reading and questioning that shocker! some faiths did not celebrate Christmas but rather had their own festivals around the time of the Winter Solstice. Jews had Hanukkah and some Black people celebrate Kwanzaa and Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate anything.
As I ventured further out into the world (finally settling in Northern California) I met more people of other traditions and had a chance to talk to them about their beliefs. I had some surprises. The Japanese students I meet are well aware of Christmas, it's been a little part of life in Japan for years. Jewish folk on the whole don't celebrate the holiday, but if wished Merry Christmas will thank you and often respond with a "Happy Hanukkah!". Some Christians wince unless you utter "Happy Christmas" because of, you know, the well-organised War on Christmas. I have met a couple of people who celebrate Kwanzaa and they seem to respond to everything with "Blessed Kwanzaa" and an explanation, if needed.
Like Bea Hines above, I'm unhappy with "Happy Holidays" as a winter greeting and as a nature pagan, use "Happy Solstice" as an alternative. That often doesn't swing as our increasingly nature-unaware population had no clue what I was talking about. A better solution was called for, so I called on my Loki energy. Thus, "Happy HanukKwanSolstiMas" was developed a couple of years ago. I began using the greeting at the farmers' market. Some needed explanation, some chuckled at my considerable cleverness, others scorned it like the humorless buggers they are. The astute recognise the intent, frequently laugh and greet me appropriately. Some have offered clever retorts, notably those clever sods who watched the Seinfeld episode featuring Festivus. Others have entered into discussion about improving it, and I welcome those most of all. Several good suggestions have been put forth and I will include them in the next Beta Update.
This year I wrote a sign bearing the greeting, to hang at the front of the stall to see if I could bring appropriate cheer. People took photos, came and asked what it was all about. One couple sang Fairytale of New York as a kind of Christmas protest, I played Stop The Cavalry in response. Another party sang Tom Lehrer's spoof A Christmas Carol with me. Greetings were exchanged, there was one kiss under the mistletoe and children looked puzzled as the grownups pondered, chuckled and shared increasingly complex and almost Discordian greetings.
So Merry Christmas, or Blessed Kwanzaa or Happy Hanukkah to you all. And of course for the rest of you, gather around the aluminium pole and air your grievances in celebration.
Photo here
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