(idea) by stash Sat May 12 2001 at 20:08:24
Flight Escape and Virtual Britney

  • I am under house arrest along with twenty or so others. I don't know our crime but our captors are among us and are constantly on watch for an escape. But it's a nice place--a suburban home overlooking a small canyon. Tonight is the fourth of July and we're all having a barbeque and fireworks show out on the large backyard deck. Bright washes of sparks fountain on all sides, lighting up smiles all around. I smile along with them as I climb onto the wooden guardrail and pretend to prepare a firework on the now accessible roof. My friend knows what I'm really doing, and waves me a fond goodbye from across the deck. Quickly, I jump onto the roof and throw my body off the back edge, over the canyon. I dive down at a great speed before swooping up and flying away.

  • I've decided not to go to my sociology class today so instead I tune in via the internet. This must be the future because I feel as if I'm actually standing in the lecture hall with everyone else, a real virtual telepresence. The lecture hall actually looks more like a recital hall with its big. There are group presentations going on and the current one is a bunch of scantily clad female students doing a song and dance number about gender inequality and objectification of women. Interestingly, the telepresence application has automatically placed blurred-out discs over the overly-exposed rear ends of the dancers. I realize that the group leader is none other than Britney Spears and her bottom half is the most revealing. I zoom in on her and reach my virtual hand out to check if the application censored the tactile data as well. When I feel the edges of Britney's thong I know that it hasn't. Then I decide that I do want to attend the lecture physically. I arrive outside the lecture hall and notice that the architecture of this place greatly resembles the house and deck from my previous dream. I enter the class as the other group is leaving. As I walk in front of the professor to sit down, I briefly forget that I was invisible while viewing before and wonder what she thought of me walking around on stage while the girls danced. I take my seat and watch another musical routine, this one by a bunch of men who are responding to the question: "How would Americans react to the substitution of free McDonald's hamburgers for monetary tax refunds?" As humorous music plays in the background, the men take turns coming to the front of the stage and playing the part of the "average American". One man ponders his responsibility to his family, then gives in and pantomimes eating a hamburger. Another expresses his extreme hunger and makes the same gesture. As they go around in a circle, every single one ends by eating a hamburger.

I like it!