Action item is a well-known comic script, the work of Neil McAllister. Like me, you've probably been emailed it at least once if you work in a large office environment.
The first time I saw this amusing comic strip, I was working in a large IT company. A cow orker sent me a copy. At the time I was irritated about some red tape issue arising from a meeting we'd all just been to, and suffering from what Neil McAllister has called "office angst". I laughed my ass off as I read it, and since it's too clever not to node, here's a transcript.
Action Item is a one-off strip. You can find the entire illustrated version (and FAQ) at Neil's website:
http://www.fatalexception.org/action_item.html
The Adventures of ACTION ITEM... professional superhero!
...The evil Doctor Diabolical enacts his malevolent schemes upon an unsuspecting city once again...
(Doctor Diabolical kidnaps a girl)
Doctor Diabolical: If my demands aren't met in 24 hours first the girl gets it -- Then, the entire city!!
(The Police Commissioner and sidekick, O'Malley discuss what to do)
O'Malley: We can't take him by ourselves, commissioner! Should I use the signal -- call on Action Item to help us?
Commissioner: No need, I've already sent him a meeting request using Microsoft Outlook!
(Enter Action Item ... professional superhero)
Action Item: Hi, team. Who called this meeting?
Commissioner: I did, Action Item! We need you to put a stop to Doctor Diabolical's nefarious plan!
Action Item: Excellent -- Then you'll be my point of contact!. Now then... To fully own this challenge I'll need to be goal-oriented and results driven!
Action Item: I want to be sure we're all on the same page, Commissioner! Let's open a dialog on this project so I can download your status!
O'Malley: There's no time, Action Item! What are you going to do to save the city?
Action Item: Now, now, O'Malley -- While I appreciate your proactive stance, It's far too early to drill down that far. This is just a high level meeting to determine how I can add value to your investigation.
O'Malley: But the girl... Can't you save her?
(Action Item turns to leave)
Action Item: I feel it's best to address that in a sidebar meeting. We'll touch base next week, Commissioner... And then each Tuesday and Thursday on a go forward basis!
Commissioner: But... The city! You've got to help us!
Action Item: Check your scope document, Commissioner! I don't see that on the list of deliverables for this milestone! But we should take that discussion offline...
(Action Item exits)
Action Item: For now, I must Go! There are Evil-doers elsewhere who must face the sound and fury * of...
...ACTION ITEM, Professional Superhero! But always remember... Don't be the bottleneck!
O'Malley Did you understand what he was saying, Commissioner?
Commissioner: Not a damn word...
(*Signifying nothing)
Note: Permission has been granted by Neil McAlister (reachable through {sngnyrkprcgvba qbg bet jvgu n hfre anzr bs arvy}) to node the above written transcript.
CST Approved