Future advances in
genetic engineering may enable the creation of a new infinitely useful animal: the laundry
gibbon. The laundry gibbon will be more than a pet, it will be a proactive laundry processing entity. There are a number of reasons why research into the creation of laundry gibbons is wise:
- Gibbons are brutally cute - especially running with arms high in the air. Perhaps laundry gibbons could be trained to be cute on command.
- Gibbons long arms are ideally suited to carrying laundry.
- Gibbons can reach a clothes line - for clothes which are too delicate for machine drying.
- Gibbons do not throw feces. At least they haven't thrown it at me.
Only four skills need to be taught to these enhanced gibbons:
- Collecting and sorting laundry is a requirement.
- Operating the washing machine/dryer buttons is also necessary. Perhaps through the use buttons simplified for small primates.
- Using a flush toilet is much better than throwing feces.
- Occasional gibbon self washing in the clothes washer would be ideal. Of course the gibbon would need some delayed start wash button and a very gentle wash cycle.