It was the start of my second day without alcohol
in my system.
I have managed to screw up several relationship
s in the past few months, all the girls said that i drank too much. I work part time in a bar
and this is not good.
Around 5pm the shakes were to much to handle, especially with the stress of all business, I had two beer
s to settle down and concentrate better on my work. So far, so good.
I arrive home and watch a movie
and settle into bed
passes. Darkness. I am still awake
. Everything seems like a blur
. I fear
bedtime because of the nightmare
s and the recurring dream
s. I fear
conscienceness because of the stress
of daily life
. A couple drinks makes me feel fine but only temporarily, I know later on it'll do more harm
. The girls I meet and hangout with encourage
it but the ones I want to be with discourage
it and have since left.
As I laid down about ready to drift
off into unconscienceness, I felt good knowing that even though i fail
, at least I didn't get hammered and that the next morning
would be one where I remembered most of what happened the night