I was really delighted that my clinic reopened Friday with the physician assistant seeing patients.... except then part of me was mad and sad. MY PATIENTS I WANT TO SEE THEM WHO IS THIS INTERLOPER.....Emotions are not logical at all. I got mildly drunk and yelled about Ayn Rand later. It's pretty funny in retrospect, though these northwesterners are just freaked by raised voices. I keep forgetting. In DC when I was in high school in Alexandria, everyone yelled. Some demonstrafers, I mean demonstrators, were yelling about something 364.25 days a year and Congress was yelling back and who cares? It is like being able to block out one's child practicing Twinkle twinkle on the violin for the ten thousandth time. I had two children play violin and so I got to refine my blocking....
Musical interlude to relax.
I was looking for something I'd written and googled myself and found.....Quota. I found a blog that had quoted it with my permission in 2007 and with my name on it. I followed the links and found five other blogs that put it up. Nice. That felt rather warming and like maybe I am not just shouting in the wilderness. Not that I would stop shouting in the wilderness, I find it's a good outlet.
It is still unclear if I will be able to return to work. My muscles are now recovering, though lungs and vocal cords are the worst. If I talk too much (ha)then it hurts in vocal cords and trachea. The bronchoscopy showed me striped, like an inside out barber pole, red muscles and pinkish white cartilege and the muscles should not be that red. Inflmmation, irritation, unhappy muscles, slow recovery since it's now been five and a half months.
Chorus started up last night. I can sing but not talk, slow twitch versus fast twitch. Weird stuff, though of course I am reading lots and have a working theory.
Next I have to track down infectious disease specialist and otolaryngology to see if my tonsils should be removed or if there is anything else I can do to lower my chances of getting strep A sepsis a third time.....Ugh, tonsillectomy at my age, yuk. (Bawk, bawk, bawk, yep, I'm feeling like chicken lizard, heh).
Sepsis is on the rise nationally and still is often hard to recognize and lethal. Scary stuff, dudes and grrrls....