Two weeks, and two days have gone by now.
I still don't know how I should feel right now. The place that I have always called home no longer feels like home, and it's like I'm out of place and lost.
But I know it will just take time to get used to being back here in New York at school...what's unfortunate is that I hate that I will eventually "get used to it."
I don't want to get used to it anymore than I want to go to Modern Math class on Tuesday nights from 6 to 9....I don't want to get used to it, I just want to get it over with.
So I go to class, go through the motions, do the whole "school" thing, and hopefully the time will pass unnoticed. That sounds bad I guess, especially because I try and live in the moment...but where I am from, and the life I enjoy here, it's hollow. It's hollow compared to the life I lived in Ireland, and although I love my friends here, it is not the same.
I can even disregard all of that shit even and I still wouldn't want to stay. The politics are so fucked up right now in terms of both our domestic and foriegn policies. And I see a future of censorship and restrictions...and what is worse, the Amercan public will go right along with it in the name of "National Security." I don't want to be a part of a country that has so much power and yet does so little good with the power it has.
But this is getting off the point, the point is I feel empty and out of place. To think I went an entire year never feeling that way at all.....
I love you ScApE.....