A guide? To ending a relationship? That's like,
-How do I go through a plane crash?
-How do I survive a shipwreck?
I think you just...
watch everything unfold, like
-Will we still be going to the same grocery stores?
Can I say hello to you if I ever see you again?
How can I say hello to you? How do I ever do that again?
-Who gets to take this with them?
We bought it together
You even paid for half of it
-Can I still keep all the friends you gave me?
Can I still care about your family? your neighbors?
Can I still love the people that I once loved for you?
-Will we ever reconnect?
Has our own unique plot of soil between us become so
poisoned that nothing can ever grow there again?
-Can I feel happy for whatever will become of you?
Can I feel shame, anger, sadness for you? Or do I even have
the right
to feel anything about you anymore?
-Can I still feel you,
even when you're not there
and
I know you're not coming...
-Can we ever reconnect?
Will we be able to sit down together again one day
and talk without soreness or temptation or anger?
Or is this the final release?
Is this the ultimate disconnect, pitch black and we will
never find each other again even if we tried, and
It's impossible to know these things
while you're in the middle of the ending, it's like
being in the middle of a hurricane that you can't see
and you watch it all unfold
All the packing and all the somber silence and all that slow decline of a new reality will settle onto your existing one softly and slowly like snow until it replaces what you have loved, what you have known, moment by moment as the disaster becomes itself and
-What the hell am I going to do?
It's like running through a forest fire, you should just
do everything you can to survive,
and show some gratitude when you do survive,
regroup, and heal, and let yourself continue
your natural course