I finally went to the hippo last night with some lesbians; oh it was awesome! I was just taken aback. i know it's just a meat market but the atmosphere was so different than the male- female meat market. I know it was probably just my naive response to the situation, but it felt like something more. All the women seemed so much - freer, natural, more able to be themselves. I had been rushing so much before I got there, I forgot to change shoes and was still wearing tennis shoes and obsessing over it; it really was no big deal.
I loved the variety! There were a few stereotypical looking women there, but mostly, they just looked like alive, sexy, beautiful women. It was really, really, really refreshing to be there. I was so awestruck (and extremely nervous of course), it was all I could do to dance. I'm really glad I went, now it feels a little less mysterious.
One thing was really funny though; there were some guys there and these two approached me and started dancing with me, telling me that the women were treating them bad tonight and hugging me over and over. Here is my first time in a lesbian bar setting, and I'm dancing with two of the six guys there! Even that they were gay, it just seemed kind of ironic. I just laughed and laughed. It actually made me feel better, truthfully, cause I felt so weird and nervous and (no matter what) out of place, and their hugs were very reassuring, like I was approachable and not ugly and fat. Anyway, the atmosphere was freeing. I feel so much more normal today, since I have found out I'm bisexual, and less like a freak.
The woman I went with took such pains to make me feel at ease and kept asking me, are you okay, how are you doing? She was so completely understanding and kind to me! I like her more than ever, what a good heart she has.