"Never Ever" is a 1997 hit song by the girl group All Saints. The song can be read as a woman who is in an abusive relationship where she is told that she is not paying enough attention, that she isn't giving enough affection, that she starts all the fights, that she never treats him right. That's a pretty standard abuse tear down, "you aren't doing it right" over and over, until the person lives in fear and is trying to meet impossible expectations. And she feels isolated, afraid, sad, in a black hole. She is not writing it off as an abusive shit who left me. Here's hoping that she does.
I don't see where in the song that it says she has never done any introspection. Where does that come from? She says she is digging deeper, trying to understand. That doesn't mean she's never looked inwards at all. And isn't it normal to examine one's own behavior when someone abandons a relationship? It is normal to wonder what our responsibility is and how we can change. What part do we have in it? None of us want to repeat the same pattern. Part of healing is realizing that the person who left stopped loving and abandoned ship. Sometimes what they love is their own projection, and if a woman or man doesn't match the exact projection, the lover leaves. If the lover is only about control, that is not love at all. That is control and abuse. Isn't true love where the person withdraw their projection of the perfect mate and loves the actual partner, flaws and all?
I also think it's normal to wish the person explained. And if they explained, to wish that they had not explained. Is it better to walk away silent or to say something? The real wish is that it did not happen, that the person did not walk away, that the singer is still loved. Do we all want to be loved?