Today I learned from a friend that in the Great State of Ohio, that if you get caught peeing in alley you end up on a sex offender list. I find this totally whacked. I understand that we're not supposed to whip it out in public. I know public urination isn't exactly pleasant to look at. But there is a fundamental difference between a guy peeing in a corner and one who whips it out and says "What do you think of this, Baby?" As a man who has on occasion had a few too many and has also experienced the inner mounting pressure that can only mean that you need to go RIGHT FUCKING NOW I sympathize with those men. Granted only a select few people have ever wanted to see my willie, but I don't want you to see it either, and therein lies the difference. People peeing in an alley aren't trying to get off, they're trying to avoid peeing their pants!

In other words, these guys aren't sex offenders. Is public urination really something that should keep people from getting a decent job, or living anywhere near a school? Realistically, this forces urinators into the country because in a city there is almost always a school within one mile. That sort of mindless legalese debases the entire list. Kids need protecting from men like Jerry Sandusky or maybe one of the priests the hierarchy of the Catholic Church covered up for all those years. Women need protection from actual rapists. They don't need protection from men with small bladders. Everyone has to pee. If society feels a need to write those men a ticket, fine. But it is wrong to make them pariahs for showing poor taste.