A woman handed me a small plastic package.
Me: Hey, free condoms.
I pocketed the object, and continued walking. Some time later, after I arrived where I was walking to, I was sitting down, beginning to become bored. I withdrew the bag from my pocket.
Me: So, how do these things work?
Jeremy handed me a foam sword.
Jeremy: Scout, here, make this thing safe.
Turning the package over, I began reading the back of it.
Me: This package contains one lah-tek con...
Phil interrupted, looking at me oddly.
Phil: Wait, did you just say LaTeX?
Me: Hmm? Oh, sorry. ...one lay-tex condom.
Phil: You idiot. See, this is why you'll never need to use one.
Every time I see the word "latex", I habitually read it as "LaTeX". Apparently they are not the same thing. To put it simply: one is for producing output, the other is for suppressing output. Ironically though, various colours of latex are used in the signage on synthetic tennis court surfaces. LaTeX would also be very good for typesetting the instructions on condom packaging.