**1.**
"Math is very important to women," she said

to my rolled eyes & tuned-out slumped back.

"You will need math when you grow up." she

insists. I will hire people to do my math

when I grow up. She shakes her head, a calendar

clicking down the days to an Armageddon only she sees

raging. "VERY important!" Not

important. Math is

not important. Not.

**1 + 1**

Menstruation, like sunsets, used to be imbued

with a certain mundane wonder. Lately,

delusions of mathematically charged eggs

create constant equations. Ovulation

an exercise of decimal points & fractions.

I am an astrocartographer, charting the movements

of indigo interiors. Each imperceptible degree

of movement, a flutter of magnificent proportions.

**(1 + 1 )/1**

Equation:

{2.0 breasts divided by 2.0 nipples}

plus

{67.3268 Richter scale measurements of emotion

times 28.08756 Richter scale abdominal cramps, left.}

plus

97.2890 Fahrenheit body temperature

equals fertility.

Equation: Divide last cycle date

by grams of contraceptive jelly

plus {circumference of penis divided by area of condom}

multiplied by strength of condom

to calculate protection level.

Add 2 days of abstinence to achieve flow

in the event of leakage. Equation:

Add grams of vaginal discharge

to amount of orgasms

to percentage of non-oxynol 9 in spermicide

subtract {age of partner divided by

three statistical reports on average sperm count

multiplied by numerical score on the B.D.I}

Proof: Simple

Bleed 4.3598 days.

Add 23.6402 days.

Repeat cycle.

**(1 + 1)/1 + 1**

It is a green room

with knobs & buttons & silvery gadgets & big empty glass jars

& nose itchy chemical smells like the biology lab.

It is a nightmare multiplied by 2

added to {20 days + number of years old}

subtracted by {cumulative net worth divided by

number of years career building

subtracted by {anticipated net gains + increased living expenses.}

It makes whooshing, whirring machine sounds.

It is sterile. It is anonymous. It is impersonal.

It has cream accents.

It crinkles like:

failed homework assignments,

love-me high pitched laughter

a condom unfurling, tossed to the floor unused

eyes when flesh to flesh contact is made

It makes complementary colors -

red & green

red & green.

It sucks like math.

--**Svaha** (Her Divine Serenity)