Went to see the Cowboy Junkies last night. It was a really good show - Margo Timmins has an amazing voice. It's strange though - at one point in the evening, she was talking about how they are always written up as a sad, melancholy, depressing band. She said that for the most part, it was true, and that most of their songs were sad songs. She used this bit to introduce their "happy song", which is called Anniversary Song. Part of the song goes like this:

"...And I don't know how I survived those days
before I held your hand
Well I never thought that I would be the one
to admit that the moon and the sun
shine so much more brighter when
seen through two pairs of eyes than
when seen through just one

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
as a face in a crowd of people
that lights up just for you?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
as when you wake
by the side of that boy or girl
who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things
and the joys that they can bring
And now every morning there's a cup of coffee
and I wear your ring..."

Well, the one "happy song" made me sadder than all of the sad songs combined. The one line, "...as you wake by the side of that boy or girl who has pledged their love to you?" just about made me cry.

My friend L just got back from her honeymoon. (I wrote about this awhile back, I will try to find the day and link it.) I've been shopping with my younger sister for bridesmaid dresses for her wedding in the past little while. Dammit, is it ever going to be my turn?

When I get in a mood like I'm in today, sometimes I think I should just pack up and move back to my parents' place. What the hell is the point of living with him? He drives me crazy - couldn't clean up after himself to save his life, and he doesn't really know how to cook anything. No affection ever, unless he's horny. So I'm here to do the cooking, the cleaning, and to have sex with him. What the hell is the point of staying here? I don't think he ever wants to marry me.

This is so frustrating, staying in a relationship that you don't ever know if there's any point... Does he even want me here, or if he just too chicken to ask me to leave?

Well, I should wrap up my melancholy rambling anyways, before he gets out of the shower and sees me writing and asks what about.

I need to figure out where the hell my life is going.


Yay for E2 as therapy!!!