Tonight, while smoking cigarettes on the roof at work with a co-worker, I was looking up at the night sky. It was clear, beautiful and pristine. The moon shined at half phase upon the dark roof, covering everything with a cool, white glow. The stars were sparkling pinpricks in the inky night sky, dots in a black, void canvas. We made a futile effort to discern which planets in our solar system were visible in the heavens above. Jupiter? Saturn? Mars? We could see definite hues and shades, which might have indicated which planet was which, but the refraction of light can play tricks on the eyes. We were clueless.

I continued to gaze skywards and said, "I don't know much about astronomy, but I do know this: I want to get the fuck up there one day."

He chuckled. "Well, you are a sci-fi fan, after all. Makes sense that you'd want to be up there."


A short while later, after I'd left work and made it to the cafe, a young drunk woman was making a pithy attempt at flirting with me. It's almost kind of embarrassing to see a drunk person flirt sometimes. When she was distracted by a friend of hers, one of the regulars caught my attention. He softly suggested, almost in a whisper, "Dude... get with her! She's all about it!"

I didn't bother to lower my voice as I leveled my gaze at him and said, "Hell no. I have standards." I think she heard me, but I don't really care, because she glared at me with contempt. I suppose she felt put off, but that's not my problem.

I absolutely refuse to try and pick up drunk women. That's not my style. And, I must say, she was "standing down, falling up drunk." There is nothing more unattractive to me than drunkenness. Some people may disagree with me on that score (most likely people who drink themselves to oblivion on occasion), but I stand by it. Inebriation, to me, symbolizes stupidity- or, at least, impending stupidity. I'm not attracted to dumb people. If someone feels like they've got to use a libation just to relax or loosen up, then they're not for me. Fact of the matter is, a person does not need alcohol to relax. Then there's the whole "it kills brain cells" thing, which doesn't endear me to it any. But I digress.

My friend thought it was the height of humor.

Just another day at the office.