I know an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a bird. How absurd to swallow a bird. She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat. Think of that to swallow a cat! She swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog. Oh what a hog, to swallow a dog! She swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a goat. Popped open her throat, and swallowed a goat! She swallowed the goat to catch the dog, she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow. Don't ask me how, but she swallowed a cow! She swallowed the cow to catch the goat, she swallowed the goat to catch the dog, she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die.

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse. She died, of course!
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I know an old lady who swallowed a fly
Nadine Bernard Westcott

Change the last line, and the credits change.
I know an old lady who swallowed a horse. She's alive and well of course!
Rose Bonne and Alan Mills, (c) 1952

This traditional song has many variations. The repetition followed by the punchline usually manages to get a laugh out of most children. The alternate ending would work well for sensitive kids.