Findings:

• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
• You make yourself lonely even though you don't have to
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• I don't have a television set
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I have a Shaymus and you don't.
• you don't have to erase it, you just have to let it go
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• I don't have a postmodern condition; I've always been like this
• You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• Don't meddle in that which you have no desire to understand
• We don't have time. Not like they do.
• if you don't have anything nice to say, a rose still smells as sweet
• you don't have to do this
• i cant ever have you, even in my mind.
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
• Cats don't have brakes
• Don't feel comfortable with girls? Have a daughter.
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• A reason to drink
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• You don't know what you have until it's gone
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
• Reason #57 Why I Don't Have Children
• If I don't care, I don't have to hurt
• Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't.
• WE DON'T HAVE STARBUCKS ASSHOLE
• Why don't urinals have stalls?
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• Even the tides have more friends than you
• Everything I have told you, even this, is a lie
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• Baptist fear of dancing
• If you pull out into an intersection have the balls to follow through
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
• I have a punklin and you don't
• I don't want to risk endangering the cheap, meaningless sex we have
• And that's why we don't have sex in the nose
• Stoned music memories
• I have dreadlocks and I don't know where the pot is
• You don't have to be a vegetarian to like vegetarian food
• Archived E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (document)
• If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything
• Baptist jokes
• You don't have to remember my name
• 2001: Why don't we have HAL?
• Thank god I don't have to make my living passing out bogus petitions
• If you don't play pinochle, you must have married in
• I Don't Need to Have Children, I Date Them
• Relax. Don't worry. Have a homebrew.
• So you don't have to
• Why don't I have votes today?
• The mighty have fallen, and I don't feel too good myself
• E2 FAQ: Why Don't I Have Votes Today? (node_forward)
• No, I don't have channel 11
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• You don't have any real problems
• I don't have the time
• If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• Even inanimate objects have a sort of life and legacy
• Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• i cannot ever have you, not even in thoughts.
• when even the plants have abandoned me
• We can't even sort out the space between people, we have no business building rockets.
• Even a Doll Can Seem To Have a Soul
• You don't have to catch me. You don't need to bring me back.
• I don't have a thing to wear!
• Hey Paul, hey Paul, hey Paul, let's have a ball
• We Have Explosive
• I have never let my schooling interfere with my education
• I have no faith in your God
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• What we've got here is a failure to communicate
• Things that people do more over and over that I haven't even done once
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
• She's Gotta Have It
• When I have female children
• You can't have everything
• You have a big finger
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• Do I have to watch my step at every turn?
• Have you tried rebooting?
• What have you
• Have a nice day
• We have nothing to fear but fear itself
• What is it like to have a crush on someone?
• I have no complaint
• Sometimes I have this dream where I am flying
• And if you don't look too closely, you won't even notice the cockroach
• I don't think she even knows that I make her smile
• You're a poet and you don't even know it
• they still come to me even though i don't come to them
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• It's better to regret something you HAVE done
• Have you let Emacs into your heart?
• I did not have sexual relations with that woman
• Justice and piety have vanished
• Citizen: You have committed an error
• Did God have choice in creating the universe?
• Front porch, what should have been said
• You do not have a right to not be offended
• Karl Marx must have had a lousy job
• If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns
• The tattoo phenomenon
• I must have left my soft, gooey centre in my other pair of pants
• Sally guests I have known
• I have no hair
• I have a dream
• New zombies have been animated to replace the old
• The US does NOT have Freedom of Speech
• We told you when you were hired that you would have to work on Saturday
• I have heard the mermaids singing
• institutions have lives of their own
• Girls Just Want to Have Fun
• Low self-esteem is actually one of the most self-centered acts; not unlike suicide
• I still don't even know you
• what is this i don't even
• Even if You Don't
• And I don't even know their names
• I don't even badly want what I've been taking. It's just been there.
• i don't hate you. not even a little
• How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
• have
• Have Blue (user)
• I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?
• Have you found Jesus?
• I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
• Prices should have no more than 2 significant digits
• Man's desire to blow shit up, and to have a nice attache case
• Know your pets

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