Waking up in a dumpster can be pretty hard, especially in conjunction with a hangover that feels like someone is trying to arc weld your eyeballs to the back of your skull and raw throat from drinking pure alcohol, screaming to ZZ Top's legs and then undrinking the pure alcohol.

Waking up is typically followed by moments of panic when you realize:

  1. Your wallet is not in your pants pocket
  2. You're wearing no pants
  3. You don't recognise this alley
  4. You're not sure what part of town you're in
  5. you're not sure what town you're in
Everyone should wake up in a dumpster at least once some point in their single lives. The wise select a morning other than that of their wedding to do this.

This has been a The Nodeshell Rescue Team production.

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